"Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings." Samual Johnson

Throughout childhood we were all ‘programmed’ by parents, teachers and other authority figures. Unfortunately, much of this programming was negative. Most of us will have been repeatedly told; “Stop that”, “Don’t do that”, “No, you can’t have it/ do it”, “You are so dumb/ stupid” etc. Being young and impressionable, our subconscious minds believed what we were told, whether it was true or not. Negative comments repeated over time became self-fulfilling prophecies. Sometimes we would need to experience an event or hear something only once for it to have a devastating effect on us. And this needn’t have been anything traumatic.

We know people whose lives had been blighted for years because of an innocent remark made by a parent which was interpreted wrongly by the subconscious mind. Every time we failed at something or were criticised or felt stupid, we added to our negative self-beliefs. Such comments, events and incidents helped form beliefs about ourselves and other people that continue to affect us today as adults. We now find ourselves locked in self-denigrating trance-states that affirm, “I’m not good enough…I’m worthless…I shouldn’t show my emotions…I am depressed…I am hopeless…I’m too fat…I can’t cope without cigarettes/drugs/alcohol…nobody could ever love me…” The list is endless.

The ‘critical voice’ inside each one of us constantly reminds us of our short-comings and is extremely powerful because it can speak in short-hand and may only have to say one word to conjure up years of negative programming.

Isn’t it amazing how we can be so easily swayed by a single negative comment about ourselves yet question and doubt the sincerity or accuracy of a multitude of compliments?

In generating self-confidence the first steps are to change our internal dialogue and drop the ideas of imperfection and failure. Perfection in this world does not exist, so in a sense we are all imperfect. There is also no such thing as failure, only feedback. This is one of the presuppositions of NLP. In other words, if you haven’t managed to achieve what you set out to do, it doesn’t mean you ‘failed’. It simply means ‘this approach didn’t work – try something different’. When Thomas Edison was asked how he felt having made 10,000 ‘failed’ attempts at inventing the electric light bulb he replied, “I haven’t failed once…I have found 10,000 ways how not to do it…” So ask yourself … “If I could do anything in life and knew that I could not fail what would it be?” And then imagine…

“Imagination is more powerful than knowledge.” Albert Einstein

Real self-confidence is an inner acceptance and understanding of our true selves. It is a positive ability to interact with others. It is an acceptance of being the best you can be at any particular moment given the knowledge that you have. Everyone does the best they can, including you. Understand that self-confidence has nothing to do with being better than anyone else. It is about feeling good about yourself, acknowledging your strengths and weaknesses, and knowing that you have the capacity to change and improve many aspects of yourself. Realise that ‘mistakes’, ‘failures’, ‘errors’ are all opportunities in learning to do things differently, guiding you to where you need to go and what you need to learn as part of your evolutionary and spiritual growth.

At stow-hypno we will help you boost your self-confidence by:

• Enabling you to gain control of the nagative 'critical voice'
• Removing any old, limiting self-beliefs
• Recognising that you have always possessed the abilities and skills necessary to make changes in yourself and any aspect of your life
• Developing new skills and resources which you will be able to use in any situation to enhance your confidence and self-esteem
• Helping you reach your true potential
• Helping you realise your life's goals and dreams

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined."  Henry David Thoreau